Sunday, 13 July 2014

Decisions Decisions So Many Decisions

I've started dress shopping! I'll write a post on the experience once it's finished...but it made me think of a post that I think would be a good conversation starter or at least a way for me to get my feelings down. This for me is a diary on wedding planning to look back on, and if anyone else finds it helpful that's great.

I've had a bit of decision making burnout over the last few months. We started off so well, booking the venue then the photographer in quick succession. Then booking the registrar and caterers. Then I kind of lost motivation. It isn't like I lost interest, but it just seemed a bit overwhelming and I was putting things off.

It was odd really as it's not like me, usually I just pick a point and start there, but I felt like there was so much to do that I didn't know where to start. I was quite clear on the timeline I have, and that the dress and/or music was next. However I just didn't have the mental energy to go ahead and start looking, as I knew that wouldn't be the end there would be a million large and little decisions to follow. And everyone is asking me. Like I suddenly know about flowers, dresses and napkins. It wasn't even like anyone could help as it was literally just making choices that I didn't want to do. I think it was combined with booking the Kilimanjaro trip and also having all that to think about, plus working full time and all the training for how did I get over it?

  1. I made a list of what roughly needed to be done in what order, then put it away for a couple of months. I'd gotten it all down on paper so it was out of my head, and I knew I didn't have to rush as we were in good shape wedding planning wise so I could take a few months break from the wedding and focus on Kilimanjaro and training. That also helped the funds to build back up too so when I came back to it we weren't so skint! Don't be afraid to take a break if you can.
  2. Start with something important to you to get the creative juices flowing again. While dress shopping wasn't something I was really looking forward to, finding the dress was (I kind of just wanted some fairy godmother to magic it to me). I was actually very pleasantly surprised by the shopping experience last weekend, and it has really got me back into the wedding planning groove.
  3. Organise. While not everyone will enjoy it as much as me (I am a bit of a Monica) a bit of organising never goes amiss when you're feeling overwhelmed. For example my wedding board on pinterest was becoming so big that it was hard to see the wood for the trees, so I split them into smaller boards like 'wedding shoes' 'flowers' etc and it is much easier to see clear themes coming up in my pins, making it easier to make those dreaded decisions!
  4. One you have made a decision, don't second guess it. My ulterior motive for rearranging my pinterest boards was to get all the dress pins onto one board, so when I buy the dress I can delete that board. Yes delete it, all those carefully curated pins, so that I won't look back on it in 6 months and wonder if I picked the right one. 
  5. Just book an appointment already, or send an enquiry. Do something. I made a dress shopping appointment to force me into looking at dresses, but it didn't mean I had to buy my dress at that shop it was just a first step into dress shopping to break the ice. It's not that I didn't want to go dress shopping, it just seemed like a big thing and a lot of things to decide (plus I am not typically found clothes shopping it is not something I love). So I booked an appointment far in advance, and this last month I started getting more excited about it.
  6. I passed things on. I have said Tom can sort the car, and he has taken the lead on the honeymoon too. He then looks things up and consults me, rather than me wading through the hundreds of hotels etc.
  7. Little by little. If I think about all the things I have to do this year at once it makes me dizzy. So I think about the next thing to do, which is order the dress. Then after that it will be music, and I am not thinking after that. Most of it will wait until we are back from Kili now.
  8. Prioritise. I was thinking about a lot about things we were realistically not going to notice weren't there if they didn't happen. And when we actually only have a half planned wedding and a mountain to climb in 3 months then favours or chair decoration is really not something to be worrying about. If I can get the things that are important to us sorted, and the little things don't all happen, it'll be ok. 
  9. Admit you don't know. Like I said above sometimes people (especially vendors I've found) might assume you know about whatever aspect of the wedding you are discussing. I have no idea about flowers other than I usually have tulips because they are cheap, and I make sure to tell this to florists so they won't confuse me with names and options that mean nothing to me. If you don't know then just ask, or get someone to help you decide.
  10. Admit you don't care. Not that I don't care about my wedding, but as it stands right now (this may change) I am indifferent to a few things. Like the cake for example, I personally am not going to eat it...I feel it's something we wouldn't have if it wasn't one of those weddingy things. So if there is a cake then great, but I'm not going to give myself a million more things to think about for the cake. It'll be a basic cake if it exists at all!
  11. Alternate wedding planning, don't think about it all the time. The last few months have been Kilimanjaro oriented, but now we are paying for it soon and then will just be training. So the summer can be a bit more wedding oriented mixed in with gym and running etc. Then September and October will be just Kilimanjaro. Then when we are back it will be wedding...I can't do both so gave up trying. Maybe book a day every couple of months with your partner to do wedding things, either formally or just for example we have said that on Sunday we will start looking for a band online and sending off enquiries. 
  12. Elope. Haha joking...kind of. 
Hope you are all having fun if you are planning you're wedding too, if you've experienced this comment below with your tips!